Another headliner alum has past to soon. I was heart broken to hear the news. It is so sad to think that another amazing young life was lost to saddess. That a person can feel like they have nothing left to offer. I only knew him for a minute of his life, but what I knew of him when I was in that group with him... Was that he was a cool laid back guy that knew who he was and didn't have to put on an act.
What I have learned from all of this is to assume that everything is fine because a friend try's to act tough and doesn't want anyone to see how bad they are hurting.
I know that I have moments of darkness. There have been times lately that not only have I felt sad but that my existance has been more hurtful to the people around me then helpful. That things that I have done or not done are unforgiveable and have made me unworthy of my life and the people who I know. It is a dark and lonely place. And the further you get into it... The more alone you feel.
My thoughts go to being aware of the words I speak to other people and my actions. Words are swords sometimes. I would never want to regret for the rest of my life saying or not saying something that would spark that kind of feeling of lonelieness and pain.
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