Why I do the things that I do

I am often asking myself why? Why I work full time? Why do I feel like I can never catch up? Am I enough for my kids? Why do I have the most understanding of myself now, but also seem like I am so different than who I was? Are the people around me able to accept the change? What is the cost of this new found self knowledge? Who will not be able to relate or accept where I am at? I have been a hand holder, an accommodater, my whole life. I have been to afraid to have a voice because I wanted to be every one's friend. Is this a really early midlife crisis (because of course I am way to young to have one). Have I become numb? Jaded? And in this thought I think...I I I jeez... Making my head swim just thinking about IT.